Ayee im ashley

i hate the feeling of liking a guy you know will never like you back, i hate being put on the spot. My feelings for you are endless,you seem like you notice and feel the same way, but when me or other people ask you, you always say no. i hate when you ignore me, it burns me inside. you scared me today and i thought i had to hide….i wanna be that girl who can like a guy, and tell him but him not say ewww or i dont like you back. i wanna be able to sit on a guys lap and not think im crushing him. i wanna be hugged from behind from you almost everytime. i wanna be able to jumpp in a picture and someone notice me. i wanna be able to go to the beach and just be…..me! So this time, im forreal. im going to be that girl, no more waiting, im done debating, if ill ever make it to it. im GOING to loose at least 60 pounds. i want my life to be different in highschool. im tired of being made fun of, andalways self concious…..

i want you to be there this time. i want you to tell me you love me. i want you to kiss me. i want you, and only you. and to think ill actually have you…..is beyond my belief :/

i hate that when i talk to you, you never hear what im saying. when i tell you a story you interupt or dont pay attention, how can i trust you? you always ask why im not talking but its like your not gunna listen so whats the point?your 11 year old brother hears and cares more on what im saying than you, YOUR my bestfriend and apparently im yours too but you never pay attention, i love that you know when somethings wrong and that you can tell just by my voice . i love when you tell me you love me but i HATE when i say it to you and you go”mhm” like i do and u dont believe me ? what the fuck is that? you sent me the FIRST picture you’ve ever sent me before, your not what i thought u were gunna look like…..you were better . i love that, but i love when ur alone cuz u pay attention to me, but when ur at ur moms with anthony,brandon,and joey, you never do….all i want is for you to pay attention….then maybe ill talk more, i just want u to believe that i REALLY do love you……pleeeeease !